Truth as My Shield

Psalm 15:1-2, 5b “Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart…He that doeth these things shall never be moved.”

Truth.

This word seems to be lost in American culture today. There is no such thing in my world. It’s all relative, based upon experience and what a person wants. Right and wrong do not exist as values. They are dismissed as opinions or choices.

I fear I have fallen into this pattern of belief lately. I always feel as if I am wrong (if there is such a thing). No matter what the choice I made; no matter what the basis for the choice may have been. If someone thinks I am wrong, I am. If I think I am wrong, I am. If someone commends me for my choice, it must have been good, right? Of course, this applies with my beliefs, as well. I have allowed others’ opinions to shape who I believe myself to be.

God has been pricking my heart for the past several months, especially in recent weeks, to consider these thoughts. Through a series of events leading up to our meeting, He brought someone into my life to help me break down my pattern of thinking. I had been falling deeper into depression and frustration each day; I was beginning to wonder if God even cared.  I was at such a low point in my life. I literally began to question why God didn’t just give up on me, because I felt that I was completely decimating any remote possibility that anyone would see Christ in me. The culprit?

Lies.

Lies that I chose to believe. Lies that confused me as to what was wrong about them. Lies that I couldn’t deny, and others didn’t bother to try.

God grasped my heart by giving me a dear friend to talk with about my struggles. She gave me a journal and asked me to write down the lies that came into my mind when I was especially struggling. She also asked me to find Bible verses that showed what the truth was, and the promises that God gave about that lie.

God has so much to say about truth. He wants His children to walk in truth. His Word is truth (John 17:17). 1 Timothy 2:4, speaking of God, says “Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” Paul asks the Galatians why they have so quickly turned from the truth and who has hindered them from obeying the truth. John writes in 3 John 4 “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

God has been asking me to make a choice to believe His Word. Truth exists. God has already given it to us. Yet, He wants me to personalize it. To make it mine. Because, you see, it’s easy for me to believe God loves everyone else. It’s easy for me to see how they are important and how God will take care of them. But when I begin to think of God in relation to me? Doubts abound.

But how do I believe the truth? I think the thing that has helped the most is realizing God’s patience. Each time I have failed to trust Him, He has never left my side. Every time I have gone to others, He uses them to point me back to Himself. For the weeks I give up and quit on Him altogether, He is still there every time I come back. When I doubt, He is still faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). His grace is sufficient for even my doubts. I think God put Mark chapter 9 in the Bible specifically for me. The desperation that this father must have had in his heart brings tears to my eyes. What torment this father must have faced to have a son possessed by a demon since the boy was a child! He was honest with Jesus when He said if he would only believe, it was possible to cast the demon out. The father cried out with tears, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!” I love how Jesus responds. He doesn’t rebuke him for doubting. He doesn’t say “I won’t heal him, then.” He simply responds by casting out the demon. What a picture of God’s grace! God has used this passage to give me hope. Hope that this grace is available to me. 

By God’s grace, I have given my heart to see, to hear, and to know this truth. I have determined in my heart to daily choose to believe this truth, no matter what I feel and no matter what others say. I need to make truth my buckler, not merely someone else’s.

Psalm 91:3-5 “Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day.”

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About Michelle

I do real. Which means I love hard and fall harder. Most people don't know what to do with that. But I'm me. As for dreams, well. Maybe someday I'll find the courage to again. In the meantime, my yearning is to truly know the One who created desire, and somehow hope He will ignite a desire in others to know Him through knowing me, too.
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