Everyday miracles happen… Do you believe?I do…. 3 years ago exactly my life was forever changed. The impossible, became my new reality and I needed to focus on what could be possible… A possible that I never really knew for sure could be a reality.
A shock that shook my family forever, a shock that shook my soul. I am God’s miracle a C1 fracture survivor. After heading into the pool headfirst, in 3meter deep water – I survived. And better yet, I survived and feel I would go through it again if it brings me to the same place I am now. My C1 fracture was a burst fracture shattered into a million pieces. I was placed in a halo for 80 days and come to realize that this life is what we make it.
I chose to trust in God, and to lift up my worries to Him. Don’t get me wrong there were times where I felt like my breath was taken away.
- When my mom washed me for the first time,
- when I couldn’t dress myself under the halo vest,
- and when my hair started to fall out in clumps.
- Or even just being the mommy to my beautiful boys who looked to me for stability and strength.
I chose to LIVE!
Returning home and leaving my boys, husband, dad, and brother and family in Disney, I was crushed. I felt so much remorse and guilt. As soon as I got home I did 11 loads of laundry. I thought if I could teach my body to respond to normal every day activities I could strengthen it. I did everything I did before – except drive. I am so thankful for the ones who loved me through all of this.
In a halo for 80 days, people would look at me and feel sorry for me. I began to see through their eyes how people who appear different are treated – it shows all over the expression on peoples’ faces. Perception is everything, all most people want is to be treated as equals.
Life came first, the broken neck came second.
I had this vision, after my halo came off I would be normal again….The world normal – who defines it? My hair would grow back, I could run again, and have no fear.
Dancing with the boys before the halo removal to “staying alive”
Removal of the Halo
Getting the collar on:
But after the halo came off – the radiology results revealed the break was “WORSE OFF” “REMEDIAL ACTION WAS RECOMMENDED”…
I sat there reading the report and was in complete disbelief, fear and overwhelmed with emotion. Without a C1 and stability, did this mean my spinal cord would be impacted?
What did I do to deserve this?
What is next?
I was brought to my knees again. The inner anger towards my actions….. The effects I had on others, and now my family.
All of these thoughts came flooding in….. This is what satan wants. He wants us to blame ourselves, he wants fear and guilt to drive our thought process. Because with this – we are paralyzed.
A couple of days went by and I got down on my knees – I am so thankful for the love of friendship and family and prayers….
I had clarity again, I need to continue to Trust in God. I asked Him for strength and chose to Trust in Him in all things, and would not live in fear.
I had to be patient, I had to forgive myself (I am still working on this), I had to love myself. I was not in control of what happens…..
This journey of life, and the trials we face are our mercies in disguise. They provide so much growth if you are open to it.
3 years later…… I am blessed with abundance, and I am learning to forgive, let go and realize that all I have is TODAY. I have chosen not to have a CT scan and do not know if my neck is healed (on paper). I just chose to believe that God has and continues to heal me from the inside out.
I must live in the moment, and all I can control is my response to what happens in this life.
I am still learning and there are times when I fall short – but that is ok. This is all part of this journey of life.
This past year I water skied behind our boat, and went on a ton of roller coasters….back at Disney (God gave me a redo.
May you be blessed my friends, because I know I am.
(if you want to read more on what happened click here: http://nesschesters.wordpress.com/the-gift-of-being-fully-alive/ )
Got any rivers
You think are uncrossable?
Got any mountains
You can’t tunnel through?
In things thought impossible.
And He can do
What no other can do.